Introduction

            I have been a clinical social worker for a number of years and, more recently, a limited licensed psychologist.  Over the years, I have created a list of statements that allow people to disown personal responsibility for a decision, feeling, or choice.  I hear these in public and in therapy sessions.  Sometimes I hear myself say them.  The interaction that initiated my list making went something like this:

            Client: “I lost it. She was yelling at me and threatening me.  Suddenly, there she was, flat on the floor. “

            Judith: “You said you lost it? What is the it you lost?”

            Client: “Control.”

            Judith: “So, are you saying you didn’t think about it before you hit her?”

            Client: “No, it just happened.  I was out of control.”

            Judith: “Let me get this right. It wasn’t a decision.  Your arm just sort of flung itself out there.”

            Client: “That’s right.  Something took over.”

            Judith: “Gee, I don’t think I can help you with this one.  If your arm is that out of control, then perhaps you should seek medical advice.”

            I believe that a list of “Somehow I found myself…” statements in this book can be helpful to those who do not want to be accountable for their actions.  It will be of great benefit to any reader who wants to derail any irritating person, friend or foe, who demands accountability.

            This instruction book is written in jest, but with serious overtones.  I share it with acquaintances and utilize it for my own convenience.  This very morning I said to a colleague, “That’s just the way I am,” as though it isn’t the way I choose to be.

            *This simple handbook is written to assist a person to recognize when she or he (or anyone else) is attempting to avoid existential anxiety and the acknowledgment of personal responsibility. If you are interested in ideas on dealing with irresponsible people, see the last section, starting on page thirty-seven.